My Holly Golightly Life

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS GET A MAKEOVER VIA THE TAO TE CHING

2012-01-02T14:21:00.000-08:00

The December issue of Whole Living Magazine was a boon for me. Not only is it full of great recipes, beauty tips, and ideas for staying healthy this winter season, but it featured a wonderful piece by Salon.com writer Andrew Leonard entitled "The Gift of Tao" where he talks about how he rediscovered Laozi's famous work "The Way and Its Power" or Tao-te Ching on his bedroom bookshelf.

Feeling in a funk -- a major pay cut at his job left him struggling to make ends meet, he'd gained some weight that year -- he was in the right mood at the right moment when he stumbled upon the well-worn paperback.

He explains that no other Asian literary work has been translated into as many Western languages. He decided then and there that maybe he was striving too hard for success -- in love, in work, in exercise (he tracked every single mile he biked). Maybe he should just "be", just do the "thing" for fun -- be more Zen.

So that year, instead of creating a list of "grand resolutions" like he normally did, he decided to state something small, simple and pleasurable. He liked to cook -- he decided to resolve to learn how to cook Indian cuisine. He posted this on Facebook and went out for a bike ride and when he came back, he had received an email from a national magazine editor saying she wanted to hire him to write a piece about learning to cook Indian. Laozi must have been laughing his ass off!

This article has inspired me to make a list of resolutions that do not overwhelm me this year, but that are things that are simple, small and infinitely pleasurable, just like Andrew's. Here are my initial thoughts:

1. Read James Joyce's Ulysses: I've never read this book and always wanted to. I was in a book club over 15 years ago where we were supposed to read the book, but I never did. I love reading classics from the early 20th century so I will attempt this again in 2012.

2. Cook a whole fish: I like to cook, but most of the time I take the easy way out and cook things that I've cooked before. I would like to eat more seafood and I'd like to cook more Asian dishes. This would fit right in.

3. Go Skiing: I've never been skiing! And, my husband Randy goes at least once a year when he goes to conferences in Colorado or Canada. I've never joined him on these particular trips, so this year I will take the plunge.

4. Put my money where my mouth is and donate to causes I care about. Every year, and year round, I say I will donate to various causes. When I watch PBS and they have a Telethon, I always say I will make a donation and become a viewer/member. I also get inspired to donate to the ASPCA or the World Wild Life Fund whenever I read or watch commercials on the animals who need homes and care, or who are going extinct, but I do nothing. I vow to do something this year.

5. Visit Turkey. This is a no-brainer as Randy and I are planning a trip for this Spring. I've always wanted to visit Istanbul and see its beautiful buildings, eat the food, wander its streets and bazaars. this year this dream will come true.

Why don't you join me in making a list of resolutions that are small and spare, just like the Tao would suggest?

Happy New Year!

A Sweet Gift for Christmas & New Years -- Panettone Bread Pudding

2011-12-24T16:52:00.000-08:00

A Panettone is a traditional Italian Christmas dessert. Around the holidays, you will see them everywhere in stacks – from your regular market to specialty shops. It’s basically a beautiful egg bread studded with raisins and other candied fruits such as orange and lemon.

If you are thinking about purchasing one for yourself, or to bring as a gift to a dinner party during this time of year, you really can’t do wrong. The bread is delicious toasted with butter and jam, or made into French toast the next day or as the French say ‘pan perdu’. (And it will last a couple of weeks in its box)
However, if you are a bit more adventurous, a Panettone will make a stellar bread pudding. I can’t think of anything more wonderful than a bit of this warm and sweet treat for a New Years Day brunch.

I hope you enjoy my rendition of this classic dish, and . . . .. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a very happy New Year!

Holiday Chocolate Chip Panettone Bread Pudding

Ingredients:

1 large Panettone, sliced into 1 inch cubes
4 large eggs
3 cups whole milk
1/2-cup light brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tbps. Real maple syrup
1 tsp. orange zest
½ tsp. cinnamon
½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (if your Panettone does not have chocolate)

1.Preheat the oven to $325°. Butter a 2-quart baking dish. Toast the Panettone on the oven racks for 8 to 10 minutes, or until golden; transfer to the baking dish

2.In a medium bowl, using an electric mixer (or a strong arm and whisk) beat the eggs and sugar at medium speed until pale and thick, approx. 2 minutes.

3.Beat in the vanilla, cinnamon, maple syrup, orange zest, then beat in the milk.

4.Pour the custard over the Panettone; let stand for about 30 minutes, gently tossing now and then, until the custard is absorbed.

5.Add in the chocolate chips and mix until fully incorporated.

6.Bake the bread pudding for 35 minutes, until the top is golden and the custard is set. *If the custard looks wet, cook for an additional 5 minutes or so.

7.Let cool for at least 30 minutes before cutting into squares.

The bread pudding can be refrigerated overnight. Just re-warm in the oven before serving. Also goes well with vanilla Gelato and whipped cream.

A review of “The King’s Speech” starring Colin Firth, from the perspective of a stutterer

2011-01-02T17:56:00.000-08:00

Seeing the powerful film “The King’s Speech” Christmas weekend brought up a whole slew of emotions. You see, I am a stutterer, just like King George VI, but many people don’t know it as I do a pretty good job hiding it as an adult.

What struck me about the movie were three main things. First, Colin Firth’s performance was heartfelt and true – he showed a real sense of frustration in his character’s problem and a great sense of conflict about it as well. On the one hand, Bertie, as King George was called by his family, wants nothing more than to be able to speak fluently so that he could be able to speak in public as well as his father, the King, and his brother David, the Prince of Wales. On the other hand, if he did he would have to step up to responsibilities. He could no longer hide on the sidelines, allowing his speech impediment to hold him back. This was an extremely scary prospect – that he might actually be great and that he’d have no excuse. His speech therapist Mr. Lionel Logue hits on this last part as he works with him on numerous occasions and gets closer to his client’s deepest core feelings and fears, which nearly ends the relationship.

The second thing the film infers is that there was an early childhood trauma that might have caused the king’s stuttering. He was punished for doing something bad, so they switched him from being left handed to being right handed, which Logue says is a common early childhood predicator for stuttering. His nanny was cruel to him and often didn’t feed him. Studies have shown that there is normally no correlation between early stressors and whether or not someone grows out of a childhood stutter, or keeps it into adulthood. What is more of an indicator of stuttering is if someone else in one’s family stuttered.

http://web.archive.org/web/20080419063327rn_1/www.stutteringhelp.org/Default.aspx?tabid=17

The third thing of note about the film was its honesty about stuttering and its prognosis – the film thankfully dispels the idea that one can be cured. I spoke to someone at a party a week before I saw the film, and they mentioned the movie and how the King had been cured. I guess that’s what everyone wants to believe, especially in a movie – a happy ending. But the movie shows that the therapy doesn’t cure the stutter, it just makes it easier for Bertie to manage, especially when he becomes King after his brother’s abdication. Every time he had to make a speech going forward, for example the one on the eve of England’s entering WWII, he worked with his therapist to speak more fluently. It was extremely hard work, and will be work until the end of his life. The stutter is always with him, but he has learned how to manage it.

What a stutterer wants more than anything is to be fluent. I know that I often had the hope that if I wished hard enough, I might wake up one day and no longer stutter. But of course that is not the case. I have stuttered ever since I can remember, just like Bertie reveals in the movie. My parents audio taped me at age 4 reciting a poem I had written about a doll. I seemed excited and happy – no psychological trauma had occurred – but there I was on tape stammering the words of the peom I had happily created.

I think what has shaped my life and my fluency is feeling comfortable enough to not avoid speaking in public. For years, while I was in junior high and high school, I refused to answer the phone at home – my twin brother Scott would answer it, and then hand it to me. Once I was on the line, and knew who it was I was usually fairly fluent.

My senior year in high school I had to give a Chapel Talk to the entire school – all seniors had to give one. I sang a song instead (I got special permission because I stuttered). However, in class, both in high school and in college, I refused to sit and be quiet. I always raised my hand to participate and ask questions. I often made a point of sitting in the first few rows so I would be in the teacher’s view. I performed in plays and musicals in high school, and when I had a speaking role, for example in The King and I, I learned my lines so well that I did not stutter, and of course I never stuttered when I sang.

Just like Bertie, I was conflicted on how much I wanted to avoid speaking at any given time. I both wanted to be on the sidelines, but also in the spotlight. It’s been something I’ve been dealing with my entire life. What if I never had this stutter? Would I have achieved more? Would I have become a trial lawyer, a teacher, or a journalist? Or would things have enfolded in the very same way they did?

When I was in my 20s and living in Atlanta, I enrolled in Hollins’ College, which has a world renowned stuttering program. I took off three weeks from work, flew to West Virginia, and lived on campus to take intensive behavioral therapy for about 8 hours a day. It worked when I did it, but I did not find it natural – it was a totally different way of speaking and I didn’t find it easy to maintain years later. And, if the fear of speaking took over, it all fell by the wayside. But, I am not saying that this program is not worth looking into – many people have gotten incredible help from Hollins College. It’s the best program around. But, one should go in realizing that they won’t be cured, because there is no cure for stuttering.

http://stuttering.org/hollinsfluencyprogram.php

Today I work in book publishing, in publicity, and I have to talk in public all the time. I don’t have to make a speech, like the King’s speech, to thousands of people looking for guidance in a harsh political time, so I am not nearly as brave as Bertie was. But, I try very hard not to avoid talking to people on the phone, in public, anywhere. In fact, I often make the first move, and people say I am outgoing and friendly. I may still stutter when I introduce myself to someone, which I am told is universally common. I always pause on my “out of the office” message on voice mail, and I often pause when I answer the phone, and sometimes when I have to speak to a group. But as long as you are patient with me and don’t laugh at me, you will probably hear something worth hearing. And, yes, I do want to be great, just like Bertie.

I'm Thankful that I like to Experiment with Cooking this holiday season -- I get this from my Mom!

2010-11-25T08:30:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving, my husband Randy and I were invited to share the big dinner with his aunt and uncle in NYC. We love visiting with them, and one my favorite things about them is how much they enjoy to eat and to cook.

As it will be just the four of us, we are not going to have turkey but capon, which is very French and also much moister than turkey. I will be bringing two recipes, a white bean avocado spread for crostini, and a cherry sauce to go with the capon.

If you know me and my cooking style, you know that I don't like to follow recipes. Oh, I love to look at recipes in cookbooks, on food blogs, on FoodNetwork.com and Epicurious.com, but I like to use them as templates to come up with something that is all mine. I like to experiment.

I get this from my Mom who is a talented, natural cook. She's a wonderful baker (for which you must follow recipes to a T), but she's also one of those amazing home cooks who always kind of winged it. And, we never had a bad meal at home growing up.

I am thankful for my Mom teaching me this "technique". I love to take a look at my cupboard and fridge and throw something together at the last minute. I think I'd do great on a cooking reality show where they say, "make something using Artichokes and goat cheese."

So, this Thanksgiving, I am going to share with you the two recipes I am bringing to Randy's Aunt and Uncle's house this afternoon. The bean spread is something I came up with several years ago, and I make it all the time. In fact, I had the restaurant who hosted our wedding make this as an appetizer on triangle cut toast points! The cherry sauce was inspired by the capon that Jon will be making. I looked at several recipes online to get ideas. But the finished product is all me.

White Bean and Avocado Spread
(works nice on sliced baguette rounds – crostini or as a dipper for red pepper slices or endive leaves)

1 1/2 cans of white beans
1 ripe Haas Avocado
1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil (you may want to add more once you taste it)
Salt & Pepper, to taste
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1 cup of fresh basil leaves (not chopped)

Put all ingredients in a food processor and blend until smmoth (not chunky). Taste and adjust with oil, salt and pepper and lemon juice as needed.

Heather’s Holiday Cherry Port Wine Sauce
(A Nice accompaniment for Chicken, Capon, Turkey, Duck or Christmas Goose)

1 package of frozen organic black cherries
1/2 cup of port wine
1/2 cup of fresh squeezed orange juice
1/2 cup of chicken broth
2-tablespoons of finely chopped shallots (about 1/2 of one large shallot)
1-teaspoon of finely chopped garlic
1-tablespoon sweet butter
1-teaspoon extra virgin olive oil
1-teaspoon orange zest
Sea Salt and Ground black Pepper, to taste (add to shallots and garlic once finished)

In a saucepan, add all liquids (broth, port and orange juice) and bring to a boil. Watch closely for about 5 minutes, then reduce heat to a high simmer and add the cherries. Let simmer until reduced by at least half; stirring constantly. Use the back of a wooden spoon to crush the cherries to get more juice out of them.

In the mean time, sauté the shallots and garlic in the olive oil and butter. When translucent, add a bit of salt and pepper to them.

Add the orange zest to the cherry sauce mixture, and then add the sautéed shallots and garlic to the sauce. Stir for another 5-8 minutes, still crushing the cherries with the spoon. You are finished when the sauce is nice and thick.

Let come to room temperature for serving.

Bon Appetit!

La Dolce Vita -- Back from a trip to Italy and feeling like doing nothing

2010-11-11T04:15:00.000-08:00

The phrase "La Dolce Vita", which means "the sweet life" or "the good life," is the title of the 1960 film by the critically acclaimed director Federico Fellini. The film is a story of a passive journalist's week in Rome, and his search for both happiness and love that will never come.

But most people have come to use this term for living life the fullest, or Carpe Diem, something we almost never allow ourselves to do.

Coming back from a trip to Italy with my husband, it sends home the message that life is short, and youth is even shorter -- why waste time worrying about every little thing that has to be done?

The Italians "work to live" instead of what the Americans do: "living to work". With Blackberries taking over our lives, and being "at work" 24/7, we've lost the ability to live "La Dolce Vita".

We can't remember what it's like to just stroll down a street and look into windows without a goal in mind, or a time to get there. We've forgotten how to read a book just for fun, or sit and read the paper for hours. We can't remember the last time we spent all day cooking, to learn how to make something -- not for a specific dinner. Our days flow into years as we try so hard to fulfill our responsibilities - work, family, etc. and we just get older, not happier.

As I move towards the holidays this year --Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years -- I really want to be able to savor my life more. Join me in being more spontaneous, enjoying life more. I will try not to feel guilty for just doing nothing -- how about you?

Heather

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? Celebrating 40 years of great Children’s Television

2009-11-09T15:25:00.000-08:00

I think some congratulations are in order! Tomorrow, November 10th, 2009 is Sesame Street’s 40th anniversary. I know this will age me, but my twin brother Scott and I were charter audience members of this amazing show’s first season in 1969.

Everyone is celebrating: Michelle Obama is going to be on to teach the puppets how to seed a vegetable garden. A block in NYC – Columbus Ave. at 64th St. – will be temporarily named “Sesame Street.”

One of my earliest memories was that of one iconic segment on the show, where an Operatic Orange sings “Habanera” from Carmen. I remember my Mom watching it with me, and singing along – she liked to sing Opera too and had (and still does) a great voice, so we sang along with this animated orange who starts out in a bowl with other fruit and then rolls out onto the kitchen counter, donning a rubber band mouth, daisy eyes, and a dish towel as a hat. To my 3-year-old self, she was enchanting (you can watch this along with other classic videos at sesamestreet.org).

Everyone had a favorite character, of course, and mine was definitely Cookie Monster. Cookie was just out of control and that’s what I liked about him. He was exuberant – he wanted cookies and he wanted them now . . . . Cookiessss!!! A recent commentary on the View about whether Cookie Monster should eat cookies (he now eats apples and carrots mostly) made me laugh in disbelief. He’s a cookie monster – not an apple tree monster. I agree with Whoopie Goldberg when she said that he does not teach kids to be gluttonous – I think he teaches kids to have fun.

I learned my ABCs; my numbers, about which things go together in groups and which things don’t, and all about the lovable characters and how they were able to live together in harmony with the adults and the kids on the street. And then, when I got a bit older, I graduated to the Muppet Show where I met Kermit, Miss Piggy and the rest of that menagerie. I loved seeing Ernie and Burt argue and then make up with each other – they acted just like siblings and I could relate, and Oscar the Grouch, and of course Big Bird. It turns out that the actress that originated this character is still doing it on TV today (she’s 75 years old).

So, when you get nostalgic for your childhood (or you want your own kids to watch some really great TV), tune into the classic episodes from this beloved show online or watch on your local PBS affiliate. With so many shows having gone off the air over the years, it is comforting that this one can still make kids (and adults) happy. I’m going to have a cookie with a glass of milk to celebrate, just for you Cookie Monster.

A Secret Literary Society in NYC? With everything so transparent these days, is this still possible?

2009-10-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

I went to a “secret” literary lecture tonight at St Jean Baptiste Church on the Upper East Side (76th St. bet. Lex. And 3rd Ave.) in Manhattan. Well, it wasn’t a secret to the almost 250 people who attended and the speaker, but there is no name for the group, who meets only once a year (for the past 17 years) and they have no website or phone number. One is invited and then they get back in touch with you (via note cards where you fill out your info.) when they want to tell you about their next lecture.

I was invited by a new friend, an architect who I met at a party near Columbia University a few weeks ago. I didn’t know what to expect of the evening, but as we made our way from Grand Central Station with her good friend, a muralist, in tow, to the 6 train, to dinner at a diner near the Church, to the lecture hall, I realized that taking a risk and meeting new people can be just what one needs after a exhausting day at work.

The lecture hall was filling up fast – I had no idea that this many people were going to be interested in Eleanor of Aquitaine and Hildegard! I knew practically nothing about these two women, expect that Eleanor was a queen and Hildegard was a nun, and they lived a very long time ago.

What ensued was inspiring on many levels. The lecturer was this gorgeous, bohemian woman in her 30s or 40s with wavy dark hair and a cherubic face who had a rich, eloquent voice that made the subject matter come to life. She talked about how these two women’s lives crossed paths, and how they changed the world as we know it.

Eleanor was an educated young women whose father and other relatives were troubadours who had learned their art of singing and romance from the Muslims. As a young woman, she studied at Hildegard’s school for women (in a nunnery) and learned about the sacred feminine, about music, and dance, and art and philosophy. Did you know that she organized the Arthurian legends into the written word, from the oral tradition and that if it had not been for her that we would not have the stories of King Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table, Queen Guinevere and Sir Lancelot?

Hildegard was equally fascinating. Given to the house of God at the age of 8 (which was common for parents to do with their 10th child), she was sequestered with a nun and some monks in the abbey in southern France where she lived until she turned 38 years old when she became Abbess. She then, as they say “came into her own”. She had always had visions, but had been encouraged by a young monk for those many years to not hide them, but write about them. And she did just that, including composing music, creating elaborate art work, and building a school for women that would teach them to not be afraid of their power and intellect.

It was a truly inspiring talk and after it was over, a Harpist played for a minute and the speaker sang an old French song, in French, with an operatic voice. We were encouraged to come up to the organized and ask them questions, and this is where things got a little strange.

I went up to the women taking our note cards with our contact info., and I asked her “What is the name of your group or organization” and she said, “well, we don’t have one”. Then I went up to the woman who lectured and I asked her if she was a professor at a college or University in the City, and she seemed taken aback. I said that if she was, I would love to take one of her classes, and she seemed truly flattered, but she said she wasn’t teaching right now. Then I ran into the jovial man who had introduced her, and asked him more questions: how often do they meet, how can I let people know about it, and he said, that they contact people they think will be interested, but they only meet about once a year. They like to let things happen organically. And that they hope that the talks will inspire people and change their lives as well.

I’d never heard anything like this, but it was really interesting. Of course they had a ton of people come – they made it a secret, exclusive thing to even know about it.

My new friend had told me that she went to one of these lectures about a year ago and it was about Emerson and that it also was incredibly interesting. I have to say that my curiosity is still a hold of me. I have Googled the Church and still find nothing on this group. But, maybe the thing to do is to just allow myself to experience the evening and the event itself without needing to figure it all out.

I had met someone and made a second new friend in one evening, and I hope to get together with these two women again very soon. I heard, enjoyed, and learned a great deal at a lecture, and it was as if I was enrolled in an enthralling college class once again after many years. And if all of this has to be a secret, their secret is safe with me. So, yes, there are secret literary societies in NYC in 2009. And did it change my life for the better? Yes, to that too.

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2009-09-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

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Are women happy?

2009-09-28T12:56:00.000-07:00

I probably should have started my new blog with this topic, because its very beginning is based on the fact that I felt I needed an outlet, and that writing on a regular basis would make me happy. .. .

But my personal happiness is not the big story here -- It’s been all over the news this past week and the consensus seems to be that today’s women are not happy: Arianna Huffington did a post last week entitled, “The Sad, Shocking Truth About How Women Are Feeling”: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/the-sad-shocking-truth-ab_b_290021.html, and Maureen Dowd’s column last Sunday in the New York Times is called “Blue is the New Black”: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/opinion/20dowd.html

But what is the real story? Are women less happy than they were 40 years ago, and what will it take to make women happier? It’s a difficult question to answer, and depends on one’s circumstances.

If, as a woman, you are dealing with issues of freedom, famine, war, sex crimes, abuse, infanticide of girls, etc., you are dealing with basic, fundamental issues that affect your life at a gut level. Empowering women and creating laws that protect women should be the ultimate goals.

Bill Clinton was on the Daily Show this week talking about his Clinton Global Initiative and about how women are the number one driver of economic growth, and that access to women's education and health care are the most important initiatives for the CGI this year. http://www.thedailyshow.com/. Also, an article from the National Post discusses how Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has made women a centerpiece of her diplomatic visits saying that empowering women is the single most important thing that can be done to drive global prosperity: http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/posted/archive/2009/08/18/hillary-clinton-makes-women-s-rights-top-priority.aspx

But if you live in a free country like the United States, and you are educated, have a partner, have a family, but are dealing with two full time jobs, commutes, and childcare, then your issues of happiness are much more specific. You need more TIME, you need to pair down your “to-do” list to the essentials, . . .. Dare I saw, you may need to say “no” more often.

But are you happy or unhappy? It’s really a very individual thing at this point. You may say you are happy that you have kids, and can see them grow up. You may pine for the simpler time when you were dating or newly married and didn’t have all the responsibility, and you may be utterly exhausted.

There are several new books that are tackling this subject from different perspectives that we might want to explore:

Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
http://www.amazon.com/Half-Sky-Oppression-Opportunity-Worldwide/dp/0307267148/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253561482&sr=1-1
-- The oppression of women is not only a moral issue but also affects the growth of the world economy. This book is currently on the bestseller list and it takes the idea of women’s happiness to a global/political sphere, and thus outside ourselves to hopefully help women who are less fortunate then we are, and ultimately change the world.

Women Want More: How to Capture Your Share of the World's Largest, Fastest-Growing Market by Michael J. Silverstein and Kate Sayre http://www.amazon.com/Women-Want-More-Capture-Fastest-Growing/dp/0061776416/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253559082&sr=1-1
-- Women want more TIME; the book is based on the Boston Consulting Group’s global study of over 12,000 in over 22 countries. The authors’ findings are sometimes surprising: pets come before sex and time comes before money.

Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently by Marcus Buckingham:
http://www.amazon.com/Find-Your-Strongest-Life-Differently/dp/1400202361/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253561570&sr=1-1
-- Women want less choice. This was discussed in Maureen Dowd’s column, but I think she makes too much of it – we definitely should not go back to the “simpler times” when women couldn’t get the jobs men could (and they definitely didn’t get paid the same), when societal pressures said that you had to get married and have a bunch of kids, when abortion was illegal.

The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin (out in January):
http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Project-Morning-Aristotle-Generally/dp/0061583251/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253561615&sr=1-1
--One woman’s journey on the road towards happiness, a project: http://www.happiness-project.com/; women may need to help others in order to feel happy with themselves. This book takes the “O, the Oprah Magazine” stance that we are in control of our own happiness and can try lots of different things to get there.

But is happiness a destination? Will we ever “get there”? I don’t think so.

I think every day is a struggle to find balance between what we need to do and what we want to do: get up and go to work, cook (or buy healthy food), clean, handle one’s finances, take care of others (kids, partners, pets) and the things we want to do like travel, take long walks, etc. (yes, there can be overlap)

Having read all of these items in the news and about these books, I am finding that being happy is a daily struggle. And I know that my hopes, dreams, frustrations are my own and very personal, but they are also other women’s as well. I think it comes down to being in the moment and looking at each day as a gift. And, trying to look outside oneself towards helping others, like volunteering or mentoring.

So, what makes you happy? I want to know . . . . .

Some things that make me happy (not in any particular order):

• Taking a power walk with my ipod blasting 80s and disco music
• Writing this blog!
• Seeing and talking with friends that inspire me (and who are positive)
• Cooking when I have a leisurely time to do it
• Reading books, just for fun (and finding myself escaping into a totally new world)
• Hearing and seeing my husband laugh (he laughs with his whole body)
• Patting my cat Sabine
• My book club
• Talking to my nephew Max who is about to turn 6 (he’s so smart, it just amazes me)
• Getting a kiss from my other nephew Ben (last time I saw him, he grabbed my face with both hands and planted a big wet one on me)
• When someone I worked with in the past, compliments me by telling me that they really like the job I did for them.
• Anticipating my god daughter’s 1st b-day party
• Collecting sea glass
• Shopping (see first blog post)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS TOPIC! :)

Why can’t stores be open when I want them to?

2009-09-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have an overwhelming urge to do something and then the outlet does not exist?

This morning, after meeting my authors for an interview at NBC studio's "Weekend Today" about what women want, (their book is called Women Want More) for which their segment was bumped (a pesky terrorist scare was to blame), I felt an overwhelming urge to go shopping to assuage my pain.

Here I was, surrounded by stores aplenty in the plaza at Rockefeller Center – all those chain stores that you can go to in a mall in the suburbs: J. Crew, Anthropologie, Banana Republic, Coach, etc., but here are the glossy, flagships with their whimsical window displays and I wanted in. I had just stood in a mind-numbing line at Dean and Deluca to get a croissant and coffee and I dearly wanted to browse (and dare I say buy), and at 10:00 a.m. on a Sunday in September, when the sun is high in the sky, the weather is still Indian summer warm, and there are European tourists all over the place, you’d think I’d be able to.

But no – in the midst of a full scale recession where stores are going out of business and even Barnes & Nobles are losing leases, all of these stores were closed!

OK, I know it is Sunday morning, but we’re in a recession for God’s sake and there are tourists (and shopaholic New Yorkers) all over the place, so can’t you cater to us? I wanted to try on that delicious little black and white stripped dress with the corset top and laced ribbon back that I saw in the Anthropologie catalogue. I do my share of online shopping (Zappos.com, J.Jill), but I wanted to try it on at that very moment.

I thought I’d wait it out – I called a few friends while sitting on a bench, eavesdropping on an architectural tour, and I called my Mom. I called my brother and spoke to my sister-in-law for a minute while my nephew screamed in the background, I called my husband to complain and ask him to look up stuff for me on Google since I’m blackberry deficient, I even read a few pages of a manuscript for work: The Devil’s Star by Jo Nesbo. . …. 10:00 a.m. turned to 11:00 a.m. and still nothing. Tourists and other possible New Yorkers passed by the mythical Anthropologie pressing their noses to the glass, but saw the futility of waiting around and left.

I picked myself up – me in my black dress, black blazer and purple tights with professionally looking blue Coach tote – and decided to walk over to 42nd Street to the New Balance store on 42nd St. to check out running shoes. Another disaster – the store was barred up with a sign that said – “while we undergo renovations, visit us at 49th and 7th”. Now, why couldn’t they have had that on their non-existent answering machine? I had called and got no answer.

At this point, I’d had enough, and I stumbled (in ill-fitting black pumps) over to the train station to go home. Another day had gone by without total fulfillment. But as Scarlett O’Hara said in Gone with the Wind, “Tomorrow is another day.”